Don´t call it "Schnitzel". Better don´t call it at all.

This thing here on the left is not a toast. It´s the worlds first "Schnitzel" for a toaster and they call it "Toasty".

I always thought that the crown of wondrous instant food would always be swapped between America (cheese in a can) and Japan (squid on a stick) but lately the German food industry is reaching for this greasy tiara. After the yummy Hamburger in a can the wizards of organized grime have now conceived the first piece of so-called meat in a banter that will be fixed in your toaster.

My eyes popped when I saw the ad for this decadent product on TV a few days ago, but my taste buds stayed in place. In fact I had the impression that they were instantly receding.

My first reaction was: Uggh! Why would I want to stick a piece of processed, formed meat into a toaster? Isn´t that exactly the reason why everyone who is living in countries that are exploited by us should wear this T-shirt:
Of course, this reaction shows my guilty and matured-trying-to-be-healthy-and correct-self grabbing for attention, while the Doris Day in me screamed: "THIS IS FANTASTIC! Where is the slot with the salad?"

And honestly: is it this "thing" much worse than heating up pre-cooked stuff on platic plates in sinister microwaves?
Why not produce something that (despite its deviant form) comes with an edible "banter-package", and - according to the producer- doesn´t require any extra fat.
Speaking of fat: The 70 gr. deep-frozen treat has 155 calories and 9,4% of fat. It is alledgedly free of artificial flavours and has no chemical additions.

Industry people were so overwhelmed by this "convenience food novelty" that they gave an award to its inventors on a recent food-trade fair.

Meanwhile the creators are already working on a chicken and a vegetarian variety.
Although I am not a vegetarian, they will probably break my resistance with the veggie-version.

Maybe they´d even offer Cordon Bleu in the future?